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Mark Attanasio is writing the playbook on how to overcome a PED scandal.

by Jon Henseler

Step 9 Brewers! Step. 9. Well safe to say our man Mark Attanasio is familiar with that step. Hell he'd probably lend you a cashmere sweater on a cold day too. Because right now Mr. Attanasio is running a flat out CLINIC on how to find your way out of a public relations disaster. Kind of reminds me of The Office episode with 'the watermark' on Dunder Mifflin's paper. Except instead of the Brewers sending out paper with a beloved cartoon duck performing unspeakable acts on a certain cartoon mouse that a lot of people like, we had Ryan Braun sucking down PED Lifesavers and not telling anyone about it. But that put the Brewers and threat level midnight and Attanasio has been doing a brilliant job since then. Yesterday he not only issued a letter to all Brewers fans (you can read that here) but he also announced that for every home game in August every ticket that goes through the turnstiles will receive a $10 voucher that you can use on food, merchandise, or purchase of tickets for the rest of this season. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me. Kind of reminds me of when the government sent us that $600 'stimulus' check or when Eric Gagne bought like 20,000 tickets that he gave away for a game in August of 2008 as an apology for melting down faster than a Nazi holding the Ark of the Covenant. So not a bad deal at all. Plus if you're like me and you're sitting a bunch of season subscriber tickets, it gives you a little something back on a ticket that is now worth about as much as a Prussian Franc. So kudos to Mark Attanasio and his Cri-Man-Squa for a job well done.

PS: I see a LOT of people griping on comment boards that it's 'only $10, oh boy I can buy a single beer!' Listen up: If you're complaining about the owner of a baseball club reinvesting 3.5 million dollars over 12 home games to try and calm the seas of a PED scandal then you should probably just drink a huge cup of shut the hell up because you sound whinier than Jay Cutler. That's right I said it. Jay. Cutler. Because where I come from; free beer>not free beer EVERY single time. Simple economics.

Double PS: Product Recall is a top 5 episode all time for The Office. Had to re-watch it on Netflix to make sure I got the references right. Blog world problems.