Dateline: Moses Lake, Washington.
89 year old Miyo Koba told local news station KREM she didn't have the stomach to stab a robber with her scissors, but when he pulled out a 3 foot sword and knocked her to the ground SHE BEAT HIM WITH A DRIVER. We smell a Big Bertha endorsement in the works. Koba says the guy fled the scene on a BMX. Cops found just his clothes, so it's possibly the thief suffered from spontaneously combustion on top of stupidity.
All jokes aside, some serious respect for our elders today.